Upcycling your cooking

Stop! Do not throw out your garbage! You can eat it.

I have important information from an extremely reliable source. Facebook. Therefore it simply must be true.

They say (I apologise, because I cannot remember who “they” are, or where I left anything), that you should eat your avocado seeds. Yes, that hard, skin-coloured ball inside the fruit, that resembles a tiny brain.

You can liquidise them and add them to your morning health smoothie, they say. Sounds tasty? Mashed wooden brains. There are all sorts of health benefits to ingesting these delicacies. I cannot actually remember any of them specifically, but I am almost certain that  there was a mention of shinier hair, brighter skin and a hugely improved memory. And you could possibly run faster after a few days of sipping these tree tasting smoothies. Away from the kitchen, that is.

Another article proclaimed the wondrous health benefits of onion skins. You could make a tea with them or simply pop them into your soup. Why? They prevent all types of imaginary illnesses and render you idiot proof. They might be worth a try. After all, what do you have to lose? There could be a niche business with that onion tea, marketing it as a hangover cure, or reading peoples onion tea leaves. An onion guru.

Potato skins are old news. Restaurants have been cashing in on their garbage for ages, cooking the skins, and filling them with bacon and cheese, and all sorts of sundry leftovers. As for potential health benefits, Facebook has not yet advised us. Or warned us of the dangers. You know how it goes: for a month or two, we will view two million and one posts about potato skins, and how they cure everything from toe fungus to bankruptcy, and then suddenly, when we are ingesting so many, that we are almost taking them out for pre-dinner drinks, the dire warnings begin: plague, famine and flat feet.

I would suggest freezing your garbage, to be safe and never risk missing out on any miracle cures, instead of simply tossing it out each week. Then wait for social media to advise you of the next, most wonderful Superfood.

It could be used teabags.